Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We’ll struggle to get another man of the same calibre." One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Tag: one-liners
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa’s room …"Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said her… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. Little Donna was in the back yard filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-faced youngster was doing, he asked, "What are you doing there, Donna?" "My goldfish died," replied little Donna… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A middle-aged man asked the Trainer in the gym:"IF I wanted to impress that beautiful girl, which machine should I use?"The Trainer smiling replies:" The ATM machine outside the gym…" "Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day.Teach him to use the Net and he won’t bother you for weeks."
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in her mouth.I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.‘Why?’ my daughter asked.‘Because it’s been on the ground; you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, And… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a truck went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, ‘I’m gonna do that when I win lottery’ ‘What’s dat’, says his mate. ‘Send me lawn away to be cut’ "Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
"According to the National Institute of Health, as people age, their brains respond less strongly to rewards. They say older people become less excited when they win some- thing. Whoever did this study has never seen a bingo game." -Jay Leno I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don’t know why… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
On our way to Perth we dropped Toby off at the kennels (where he was born). Both Toby’s mum and dad live there and there was also another younger dog that looked exactly like Toby. Kris commented "That dog looks just like Toby" The owner replied "Yes, that’s Toby’s half-brother".
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Every night, Harry goes out drinking. And every night, his wife, Louise, yells at him. One day, one of Louise’s friends suggests that she try a different tack. "Welcome him home with a kiss and some loving words," she says. "He might change his ways." That night, Harry stumbles back home as usual. But instead… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Why Men Are Happier People
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.