Tag: one-liners

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Maggie – put your hat and coat on, lassie.’ She replied, ‘Awe Jock that’s nice – are you takin’ me tae da pub with you?’ ‘Nay, Jock replied, I’m switchin’ da… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Blond on a cruise ship DEAR DIARY: DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship – all my best dresses and make-up… Really excited. DEAR DIARY: DAY 2 Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today – seems a very nice man. DEAR DIARY: DAY 3 At the pool… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A Wee Scottish Tale. A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn. A Gamekeeper shouts: ‘Dinnae drink tha waater! Et’s foo ae coo’s shite an pish!’ The man replies: ‘My Good fellow, I’m from England. Could you repeat that in English for me?’ The keeper replies: ‘I said, use two… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"Don’t worry about tomorrow. After all, today is the tomor- row you worried about yesterday." My mother taught for 11 years at a day-care center. One winter afternoon she was trying to show a young boy how to zip up his coat. "The secret," Mom said, "is to get this piece of the zipper to… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"A new study finds that people who are chipper and happy live longer. Which is surprising because people who are not chipper and happy want to kill people who are always chipper and happy." -David Letterman One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies