A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, ‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’ Now his mind travels… Continue reading Father of one of my kids?
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf…..Of course, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, ‘I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how… Continue reading The Genie
Little Johnny’s neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad… Continue reading Absolute best Little Johnny joke
Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to… Continue reading Why men don’t write advice columns
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives… Continue reading Hell explained by chemistry student
A man boarded an aircraft at London and took his seat; as he settled in he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! she took the seat right beside him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, ‘business trip or vacation?’… Continue reading Nymphomaniac convention
The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ‘father’s details;’ or putting it another way…. Who’s yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure… Continue reading Who’s your daddy?
A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says ‘Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.’ ‘You’re going to be OK, you’ll walk again, everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently… Continue reading Five or Nine Inches?
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to… Continue reading Priceless
A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring," he whispers,… Continue reading Chinese Wedding Night