We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, “Does anyone know what the bishop does?” There was silence. Finally,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
True story A friend’s teenage son sat down at their kitchen table at 10 o’clock at night and poured himself some cereal. His mother asked him if he wanted some more dinner, as there was some left over in the fridge. He told her that he wasn’t really hungry but that he had to leave… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
"A new study found that eating healthy adds $380 to your grocery bill every year. Or as Americans put it, ‘Cool, I saved $380 this year!’" -Jimmy Fallon It’s just dawned on me…. My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants. His… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Bob moved in with his girlfriend and her enormous collection of old magazines. They took up an entire room. Her girlfriend is fond of playing online slots that is why she loved claiming slot deposit bonuses every time she encountered one. “It’s me or the magazines,” Bob insisted. When she refused to part with any… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We’ll struggle to get another man of the same calibre." One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A little girl walks into her parents’ bathroom and notices for the First time, her father’s nakedness. Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn’t have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?" Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God’s Apples of Life. Without them we wouldn’t be here." Puzzled,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. Little Donna was in the back yard filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-faced youngster was doing, he asked, "What are you doing there, Donna?" "My goldfish died," replied little Donna… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A frog walks into his local bank branch, asks for the loans officer. He goes in, sits on her desk, and sees shes called Patricia Whack. He asks her for a $50,000 loan to do a world cruise. She asks what security he has and he produces a 4 cm pink porcelain elephant and says… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A middle-aged man asked the Trainer in the gym:"IF I wanted to impress that beautiful girl, which machine should I use?"The Trainer smiling replies:" The ATM machine outside the gym…" "Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day.Teach him to use the Net and he won’t bother you for weeks."
I was driving around and around a packed parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me. "Going out?" I called to them hopefully. "No," said the man. "Just friends."