Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We’ll struggle to get another man of the same calibre." One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That’s us in 10 years."She said, "That’s a mirror, you fool!" Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
”Working in customer service at Vision Australia, I received a call from a lady who said she had been diagnosed with something that sounded like ‘immaculate conception’,”writes Jane, of Enfield. ”After some discussion, we agreed that it was probably macular degeneration, a leading cause of vision loss for people aged over 75. After further discussion… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
On our way to Perth we dropped Toby off at the kennels (where he was born). Both Toby’s mum and dad live there and there was also another younger dog that looked exactly like Toby. Kris commented "That dog looks just like Toby" The owner replied "Yes, that’s Toby’s half-brother".
Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Maggie – put your hat and coat on, lassie.’ She replied, ‘Awe Jock that’s nice – are you takin’ me tae da pub with you?’ ‘Nay, Jock replied, I’m switchin’ da… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A speaker was about to address a public meeting when he realised he’d lost his false teeth. He told the chairman he wouldn’t be able to deliver his speech. But a man in the front row produced a pair from his pocket and said "Why don’t you try these?".
"President Obama celebrated Earth Day by flying his enormous jet to Iowa to visit a wind-power plant." -Jimmy Kimmel An "older" gentleman works for a Bunnings store, helping direct customers at the entrance. He’s a great success with customers and staff and everyone loves him. He has an easy way with people, but has
Three Irishmen, drunk as can be, come staggering down the street singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs. They stop in front of Flaherty’s house still singing. After a few minutes the window flies open and Mrs. Flaherty yells out, "Why don’t you drunken sots go somewhere else!" "Are you Mrs. Flaherty?" asks… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
During one ‘generation gap’ quarrel with his parents, young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find them here at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!" With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn’t you hear what I said? I’ve… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies