One day a truckload of fertilizer went by this farm where a young boy lived. The boy stopped the truck and asked the driver, "What are you going to use this fertilizer for?" The man said, "For my strawberries." The boy replied, "Well at my place we put sugar and cream on our strawberries."
A bear walks into a bar and says "Bartender, give me a gin…………………………………….and tonic. Bartender says, sure buddy but whats up with the long pause? The bear looks at his hands and say I dunno, my dad had them too.
A speaker was about to address a public meeting when he realised he’d lost his false teeth. He told the chairman he wouldn’t be able to deliver his speech. But a man in the front row produced a pair from his pocket and said "Why don’t you try these?".
"President Obama celebrated Earth Day by flying his enormous jet to Iowa to visit a wind-power plant." -Jimmy Kimmel An "older" gentleman works for a Bunnings store, helping direct customers at the entrance. He’s a great success with customers and staff and everyone loves him. He has an easy way with people, but has
Three Irishmen, drunk as can be, come staggering down the street singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs. They stop in front of Flaherty’s house still singing. After a few minutes the window flies open and Mrs. Flaherty yells out, "Why don’t you drunken sots go somewhere else!" "Are you Mrs. Flaherty?" asks… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
During one ‘generation gap’ quarrel with his parents, young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find them here at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!" With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn’t you hear what I said? I’ve… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy When asked why such a big password……. she said that it had to be at least eight characters long. One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch. But it was… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What’s the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty fifth wedding anniversary?" "Morning Sickness." Paddy asks Murphy "Murphy, why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?" Says Murphy " You bloody pillock paddy, if they… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white government official, ‘You have observed the white man for 90 years.You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.’ The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, ‘Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Into the local pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight," says… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies