The Fabulous Friday Funnies

This is another true First Aid course joke: The refresher course for first aid was a bit tedious; the young instructor was clearly nervous and was trying to do everything ‘by the book’. That is until she told us about doing the “Heineken manoeuvre “ – perhaps it’s bringing the beer up to your mouth… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Volcano jokes Sorry for the flight delays, Europe. We were aiming for London, but it’s hard to be accurate when firing a volcano There’s no pleasing the English. The last time they got the Ashes they were over the moon Iceland goes bankrupt, then manage to set their island on fire. Insurance scam written all… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

I was reading one morning when my husband came in very upset and asked me if I thought he had put on a lot of weight since last winter. I asked him why he wanted to know. He groaned that he couldn’t get anywhere near fitting his jeans over his hips, much less getting them… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Husband is prone to dislocating his kneecap when he over exerts himself, and wife is familiar with the urgency of relocating said kneecap. The cure is to place the lower leg on the same plane as the upper leg in very short time so the offending kneecap will slide back into position. Two of our… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"Canada could have had French culture, American know-how, and English government. Instead it got French government, English know-how, and American culture." –John Colombo While I was working in the men’s section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What’s the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty fifth wedding anniversary?" "Morning Sickness." Paddy asks Murphy "Murphy, why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?" Says Murphy " You bloody pillock paddy, if they… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

So many Swine Flu jokes already…. The swine flu pundemic SYMPTOMS: Look out for any unusual blemishes or rashers. Unusual behaviour: doing things you would normally find a complete boar. Bad temper: things start to easily rind you up. Overheating: Feeling that you are absolutely bacon hot. Chills: Feeling like you need to hog the… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A father found his small son looking very unhappy. "What’s wrong?" he asked. The boy said, "I can’t get along with your wife." One day, a New Zealander on holiday in London walked into a curio shop. Looking around, he notices a life-sized bronze sculpture of a cat in a dark corner. The sculpture is… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you’re grown up, a credit card does it." –Sam Ewing A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. ‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain.… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"A new study finds that people who are chipper and happy live longer. Which is surprising because people who are not chipper and happy want to kill people who are always chipper and happy." -David Letterman One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies