A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Category: Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she once could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The woman knelt in the confessional and said, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned.” “What is it, child?” “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.” The priest turned, took a good look at her and said,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, “You should have been here at 8:30!” He replies, “Why? What happened at 8:30?” I tried exercise as a means of burning fat, but it didn’t work for me. When the fat started burning, it smelled like bacon and made me hungry. —Planojo “In politics… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Seen on condom machine in England: “Manufactured to strict British standards.”Underneath, someone had scratched, “So was the Titanic.” Some bad Halloween riddles Q. What do you get if you cross a ghost and Bambi? A. Bamboo Q. What do you call a witch that loves the beach? A. A sand witch Q. What do you… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Q: If you want to weigh a whale where would you take it. A: To a whale weigh station. Bella was terribly upset. Her fiance, Marvin, had been to a clinical psychologist, and the results were not entirely consoling. She said to her mother, “I’m not sure the marriage would be happy, Ma. The psychologist… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
You know what they call the guy who finishes last in medical school? They call him Doctor.” –Abe Lemons “I wrote a novel this year called, ‘Shop Girl,’ and several producers came to me and wanted to turn it into a movie. And I said, ‘If you think you’re going to take this book and… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Sick Leave I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises. My… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
What a woman says: “This place is a mess! C’mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and you’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now!” What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, “C’MON! blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
“The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.” —George Deukmejian This lady goes to the pharmacy to buy her husband some toiletries. A clerk comes up to her and asks if she needs some assistance. “I’m looking for some deodorant for my new husband,” she says, “but I… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies