Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Maggie – put your hat and coat on, lassie.’ She replied, ‘Awe Jock that’s nice – are you takin’ me tae da pub with you?’ ‘Nay, Jock replied, I’m switchin’ da… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Tag: funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A speaker was about to address a public meeting when he realised he’d lost his false teeth. He told the chairman he wouldn’t be able to deliver his speech. But a man in the front row produced a pair from his pocket and said "Why don’t you try these?".
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
I was reading one morning when my husband came in very upset and asked me if I thought he had put on a lot of weight since last winter. I asked him why he wanted to know. He groaned that he couldn’t get anywhere near fitting his jeans over his hips, much less getting them… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number." A man applying for a job at a… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Putting on my wrinkle cream," I answered. "Oh," she said, walking away. "I thought they were natural." An Arab Sheikh’s son goes to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying:… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
During one ‘generation gap’ quarrel with his parents, young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find them here at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!" With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn’t you hear what I said? I’ve… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.Magically it opens. "That’s so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henny Youngman "There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage." James Holt… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Our new Kindergarten class returned to school for their second day. A little boy sitting at the front, with a concerned look on his face, put up his hand. "Will any of us graduate today?" he asked. Some bad puns I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, butit turned out to… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
True story I recently taught my grade 6 class a unit on government. In a follow-up test, I asked the question: "What does democracy mean?" One very intelligent girl responded: "The freedom to elect your own dictators." … made even funnier by the fact that she was from the Philippines. Heard today on the ABC… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies