The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"I was in Las Vegas over the weekend. I thought it would be empty with the economy the way it is. But it wasn’t. There were people everywhere. Turns out roulette is less risky than the stock market." -Craig Ferguson Some things never change—but the terminology often does.Author Cindy Chupack has coined these useful neologisms… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

These two girlfriends are very close, allowing them to be totally honest with each other. As one fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a date, she remarked, "I’m fat." "No, you’re not," the other scolded. "My hair is awful." "It looks just fine." "I’ve never looked worse," she whined. "Yes, you have,"… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

“For sale,” read the ad in our hospital’s weekly newsletter, “sleeveless wedding gown, white, size 8, veil included. Worn once, by mistake.” My niece was thrilled to hear that a new car wash was opening up in her neighborhood.”How convenient,” she said. “I can walk to it!” Prior to his biopsy, a patient confessed to… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A father found his small son looking very unhappy. "What’s wrong?" he asked. The boy said, "I can’t get along with your wife." One day, a New Zealander on holiday in London walked into a curio shop. Looking around, he notices a life-sized bronze sculpture of a cat in a dark corner. The sculpture is… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"A new study finds that people who are chipper and happy live longer. Which is surprising because people who are not chipper and happy want to kill people who are always chipper and happy." -David Letterman One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A Friday Funnies exclusive… President Obama’s first email to the American people: “All whites please report to the cotton fields for orientation.” It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” “If it was put there without… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.Office Manager: That’s great, I’ll take two of them. A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson! I beg of you, bring him back." And… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies