Two funnies form my teaching days. “The knife was conceived in his swag.” ….. English Lesson and "Oh, accouchement leave is when you’re leaving to have a baby? Is that why we say ‘couchie, couchie, coo’ to babies?" …… Maternity Leave farewell comment from one of my Year 9 students – True story. Tea break… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Tag: Jay-Leno
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Have you heard that a committee in Canberra has suggested naming the surrounds of The Lodge "The Kipling Gardens". Apparently this is because it’s now Rudd’s yard. Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A doctor told Mrs. Stone to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Stone came in for another visit, the doctor asked, "How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?" Mrs. Stone answered, "Well, he’s a little behind with… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Some petrol jokes… Jay Leno: "After the war, the plan is to divide Iraq into three parts … regular, premium, and unleaded." I have my car towed to work because it’s cheaper than buying gas. All in favor of conserving petrol, please raise your right foot. I saw a guy on the… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Fabulous Friday Funnies – Easter Double Up (Part Two)
"You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap." —Dolly Parton When I was in an antique shop in a Victorian country town recently I saw this sign…. “Any unsupervised children will be given unlimited red cordial and told they can take a cute puppy home.†"According to Glamour magazine, 83 percent of… Continue reading Fabulous Friday Funnies – Easter Double Up (Part Two)
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
“The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.” —George Deukmejian TODAY’S STOCK MARKET RESULTS They are as follows. . . Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationery. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.” “But how do you know when… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies are back for 2008!
True story… I was just reading the local paper. The article I was looking at was titled “Unwanted dogs dumped”. It was written by David Catt! A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck I’ve had today! What… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies are back for 2008!
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Stress Buster No. 33. Improve your laugh life. Add fun to the relationship by, meeting for lunch in an unusual place, leaving love notes around the house, going to comedy shows together, arranging a surprise party and sending funny emails to each other. “According to the Congressional Budget Office, Social Security will be completely depleted… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies