"He’s the kind of friend who will always be there when he needs you." –Adam Christing Guy: Your glasses can’t be bad—you just got them! Girl: Yeah, but I cheated on the eye exam, so it’s really my own fault. Guy: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Girl: I’m very competitive.
Tag: comedy
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Maggie – put your hat and coat on, lassie.’ She replied, ‘Awe Jock that’s nice – are you takin’ me tae da pub with you?’ ‘Nay, Jock replied, I’m switchin’ da… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A speaker was about to address a public meeting when he realised he’d lost his false teeth. He told the chairman he wouldn’t be able to deliver his speech. But a man in the front row produced a pair from his pocket and said "Why don’t you try these?".
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
"President Obama celebrated Earth Day by flying his enormous jet to Iowa to visit a wind-power plant." -Jimmy Kimmel An "older" gentleman works for a Bunnings store, helping direct customers at the entrance. He’s a great success with customers and staff and everyone loves him. He has an easy way with people, but has
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens. "That’s so clever," the woman gasps. "How did… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Volcano jokes Sorry for the flight delays, Europe. We were aiming for London, but it’s hard to be accurate when firing a volcano There’s no pleasing the English. The last time they got the Ashes they were over the moon Iceland goes bankrupt, then manage to set their island on fire. Insurance scam written all… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
I was reading one morning when my husband came in very upset and asked me if I thought he had put on a lot of weight since last winter. I asked him why he wanted to know. He groaned that he couldn’t get anywhere near fitting his jeans over his hips, much less getting them… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number." A man applying for a job at a… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Blond on a cruise ship DEAR DIARY: DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship – all my best dresses and make-up… Really excited. DEAR DIARY: DAY 2 Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today – seems a very nice man. DEAR DIARY: DAY 3 At the pool… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Three Irishmen, drunk as can be, come staggering down the street singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs. They stop in front of Flaherty’s house still singing. After a few minutes the window flies open and Mrs. Flaherty yells out, "Why don’t you drunken sots go somewhere else!" "Are you Mrs. Flaherty?" asks… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies