For Lexophiles To write with a broken pencil is pointless. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. The batteries were given out free of charge. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
Tag: david-letterman
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?" The other replied, "You’re darn right we’re poisonous! We’re rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue."
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Our new Kindergarten class returned to school for their second day. A little boy sitting at the front, with a concerned look on his face, put up his hand. "Will any of us graduate today?" he asked. Some bad puns I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, butit turned out to… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
An elderly gentleman…. had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
"A new study finds that people who are chipper and happy live longer. Which is surprising because people who are not chipper and happy want to kill people who are always chipper and happy." -David Letterman One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A father and son went hunting together for the first time.The father said: "Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field." A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his on. "What’s wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet." The boy, …bless… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Q. What is the difference between a pigeon and a merchant banker?A. A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Ferrari. One American to another: "I had trouble with a cheque I wrote last week" Second American: "Did it bounce?" First American: "No, the bank did" Housework was a woman’s job, but one evening,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Q. What do you call a blonde with a map, compass, and set of directions? A. Lost. A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed–driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Stress Buster No. 23. Eat anti-ageing foods. Tomatoes, blue berries, apples, watermelon, peppers, pumpkin, broccholi, leafy greens, eggs, salmon, soy, tofu, beans, small handful of nuts, dark chocolate (75% cocoa). I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, “That’s Aboriginal.” A priest from Ireland was assigned… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies