"As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you’re grown up, a credit card does it." –Sam Ewing A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. ‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain.… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Category: Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that’s not going to happen." If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is— it’s you. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
"Don’t worry about tomorrow. After all, today is the tomor- row you worried about yesterday." My mother taught for 11 years at a day-care center. One winter afternoon she was trying to show a young boy how to zip up his coat. "The secret," Mom said, "is to get this piece of the zipper to… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white government official, ‘You have observed the white man for 90 years.You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.’ The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, ‘Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
"A new study finds that people who are chipper and happy live longer. Which is surprising because people who are not chipper and happy want to kill people who are always chipper and happy." -David Letterman One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year,… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
You can’t read this and stay in a bad mood! How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?Unique Up On It. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?Tame Way. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?They Take The Psychopath What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?Dam! What Do Eskimos Get From… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
As a veterinarian, I was called at home in the middle of the night by a woman in distress. She had swallowed her dog’s heart worm pill by mistake. I knew it wouldn’t harm her, but by law, I’m forbidden to give medical advice. “If your dog had swallowed your pill, then you’d call me,”… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A Catholic guy goes into this confessional box. He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in. "Father, it’s been a long time since I’ve been to confession. I didn’t know that they… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
A Friday Funnies exclusive… President Obama’s first email to the American people: “All whites please report to the cotton fields for orientation.” It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” “If it was put there without… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies
The Fabulous Friday Funnies
Into the local pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight," says… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies