Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Category: Humour
Jokes, Video clips and funny photos and images from around the world. Something in here to please everyone.
Tiger Woods Jokes
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par. What were Tiger Woods and his… Continue reading Tiger Woods Jokes
Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old
Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do! I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?… Continue reading Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old
How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. Put Your rubbish bin On Your Desk… Continue reading How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
Man Rules – for Woman
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys’ side of the story. ( I must admit, it’s pretty good.) We always hear ‘the rules’ From the female side …Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Men are NOT mind readers. Learn… Continue reading Man Rules – for Woman
Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny’s at it again….. A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see… Continue reading Little Johnny Jokes
Thoughts from Garfield
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. Infact, just bugger off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any. No one is listening until… Continue reading Thoughts from Garfield
52 things you would love to say out loud at work
I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of sh*t. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. How about never? Is never good for you? I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. I’m really easy to get along with once you… Continue reading 52 things you would love to say out loud at work
Proper English
English Signs from Around the World In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Dry cleaners, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR… Continue reading Proper English
36 Guidelines for Life
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. If you… Continue reading 36 Guidelines for Life